Third Estate backs the Tories, Reuben turns his back on Leonard Cohen
Disillusioned with the state of the left in modern Britain, The Third Estate has decided to throw its considerable editorial weight behind the Conservative Party in the next General Election.
Jack was on hand outside the gates of Jesus College, Cambridge for the traditional selection procedure whereby coloured smoke is sent billowing up the chimney.
Upon determining that the colour of the smoke was in fact the deepest blue, he commented “I knew it, New Labour New Danger, political correctness has gone mad, you couldn’t make it up, multiculturalism, multiculturalism, multiculturalism, Gay Islamic fundamentalist pedophiles are molesting house prices, this country is going to hell in a handcart – I’m glad as a consequence we’ll be supporting the Tories this time around!”
It was touch and go for a moment. When it seemed at first there was some red and white mixed up with the blue smoke pouring out, it was feared the Third Estate might come out in support of the BNP. Salman Shaheen noted, “It was always a possibility. But in the end, really, it all came down to the Tories or UKIP. I think one of us was waving the flag for Veritas, but no one really took him seriously.”
The bizarre selection procedure, a form of political russian roulette in which we shoot ourselves in the foot with our choice of right-wing party, is based on the method of announcing the selection of new Popes, colloquially termed the April Rules.
Upon hearing the news, Reuben said, “I knew it, Leonard Cohen was always shit.”
