Breaking News: Michael Jackson slashed, shot, shelled, and finally disappears!

This post was written by Jacob on June 25, 2009
Posted Under: Uncategorized

Defying Khamenei’s demand that protesters stay at home, Michael Jackson, a student agitator for democracy in Iran was killed in Tehran today. He was found dead on the streets, his arms shredded by the razor-blades used by the Basij, and a gunshot wound to his back. This is an exclusive report on the matter, as the Iranian government has clamped down heavily on all forms of media and communication to the world at large.

In Mogadishu today, Michael Jackson, a young Somalian man died. His parents were killed by shell-fire last week, and he had sustained a shrapnel injury which without adequate medical treatment became septic. He died of blood poisoning. The killing is still ongoing, and the healthcare is still inadequate. His death, amongst hundreds of others will remain unreported.

In Peru last week more than 100 indigenous protesters went missing. They were fighting against proposed land-reforms that would see traditional ways of life and means of existence being torn apart. Amongst their number was a young man named Michael Jackson. Should his body ever be found, it is unlikely that it will ever be reported. Today it was announced that these protests may be seeing signs of success, with developers at least for the moment being forced to back down, but this will not last for long.

Michael Jackson was found not breathing and in cardiac arrest in his house in LA today. He didn’t really stand for much in his life. He squandered a whole lot of cash living an obscenely decadent lifestyle, and cancelled more gigs than I’ve had hot dinners. Is there really nothing more important going on?

I’ve made this into a short video – feel free to pass it on!

This post, spoken with pictures

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Reader Comments

Good video. Posted it on my facebook page.

#1 
Written By Darren on June 26th, 2009 @ 7:02 pm
Tendai

This sounds a bit like the ‘not-the-end-of-the-world’ dichotomy. Surely there are a lot of things that aren’t in that category but are a proper subject of public dismay? Looked at from a distance, perhaps it seems decadent to mourn a pop music artist. But in the case of somebody as prominent and culturally significant as Michael Jackson, I think this is an understandable subject for public dismay. Human beings have always mourned selectively. I don’t see a contradiction in expressing momentary dismay about it, while remaining concerned, today and tomorrow, about the other pressing issues in the world.

#2 
Written By Tendai on June 26th, 2009 @ 7:35 pm
Colin Sloss

Very funny.

#3 
Written By Colin Sloss on September 22nd, 2011 @ 8:51 am

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