General Election to be fought in Role Play Game format – move away from Real Time Strategy

This post was written by Reuben on March 31, 2010
Posted Under: Democracy,Labour,Liberal Democrats,Tories

Gordon Brown casts fireball at an opponent

The Electoral Commission has just announced that this year’s election will, for the first time ever, be fought in RPG (Role Play Game) format. Announcing the decision Electoral Commission chief executive, Ronald  Ironhammer, said it was high time that the democratic process became “more relevant to the lives of the younger generation”.

Traditionally electoral contests have been based around a real time strategy type format. Politicians would be presented with a Civilisation II style map (see below) and would aim to gain the most “votes” in each constituency.

This is what elections used to look like. For more info, look up Peter Snow.

Yet the electoral comission believes that this model – like most RTS games – involves far too much waiting around and not enough action.

By contrast this year’s election will centre around a series of quests. Cameron and Brown will traverse the constituencies of Great Britain – vanquishing enemies, gaining experience and learning spells – before finally doing battle on Parliament Square.

Political journalists are already eagerly awaiting the battle of mid-bedforshire, where Gordon Brown is expected to do battle with level seven dragon Nadine Dorries. Dorries is said to have over 1200 hit points and possess a giant steel broadsword (damage: 30-40 +8). She is also known to be fiercely protective of her dragonettes.

Electoral developer Stephen Smith said that Cameron and Brown should be prepared for a steep learning curve: “Both candidates will begin in East Anglia, where naturally they will be armed only with pitchforks (dmg 1-4). But by the time they do battle at Westminster, they will be both be proficient in high level fireball and lightning bolt spells.”

Cameron has called on Brown to forfeit the battle, saying that after three attempts on his leadership and the worst recession in modern history, Brown was “running out of time, running out of ideas and running out of hit points”. Brown, however, hit back, telling reporters that David Cameron “has all the charisma of a level three druid”.

Electoral Commision chief exec Ronald Ironhammer recognises that some older voters may be skeptical about the new system. However, he says that the old model had been in place for hundreds of years, and simply wasn’t suited to the way politics is done in the 21st century. He added that “if you can’t make head or tale of what this is about then you probably spend too much time out your bedroom, play too few games and are generally a massive n00b”.

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To contact Reuben email reuben@thethirdestate.net

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Reader Comments

Joe

Love the article Reuben. Really cheered me up getting into work on this horrible morning. One minor point though, Civilisation II is a turn-based strategy game not real time.

#1 
Written By Joe on March 31st, 2010 @ 9:20 am
jon

Great post, Reuben.

#2 
Written By jon on March 31st, 2010 @ 9:47 am
Sarah

Really cheered me up Reuben!

#3 
Written By Sarah on March 31st, 2010 @ 12:20 pm

Very good post, Reuben, enjoyed it!

#4 
Written By ZD on March 31st, 2010 @ 12:23 pm
rhona

I love you. Have a good month. x

#5 
Written By rhona on March 31st, 2010 @ 1:18 pm

CHeers for all your complements comrades. Glad to have brightened your day. Joe – had no idea you were the kind of person who knew the difference between a turn based strategy and an RTS

#6 
Written By Reuben on March 31st, 2010 @ 11:14 pm
Joe

Do I not seem the type? I used to love strategy games when I was younger, Civiliasation II being one of my favorites.

#7 
Written By Joe on April 1st, 2010 @ 2:00 pm

My graffiti on their election posters does D4+3 damage to the Tories’ Credibility.

Elder Statesman Cable casts a level 4 economics fireball at Gideon Osborne.

Etc.

#8 
Written By EddM on April 1st, 2010 @ 3:28 pm

Love you Reuben. You’re both a big winner and loser.

#9 
Written By David on April 3rd, 2010 @ 2:10 pm
Andrew Cairo

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#10 
Written By Andrew Cairo on March 14th, 2012 @ 7:54 am

“General Election to be fought in Role Play Game format – move away from Real Time Strategy” was a
extremely great blog, . Keep writing and I’m going to continue to keep viewing! Regards -Tuyet

#11 
Written By http://tinyurl.com/medvdavis04500 on January 16th, 2013 @ 3:49 pm

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