Stop Press: Julie Burchill is an Idiot

This post was written by Salman Shaheen on August 11, 2010
Posted Under: Afghanistan,Anti-War,Media

Ok, false alarm, it’s not quite breaking news. People have known this for years. But I think, following today’s little outburst in The Independent, it’s worth reiterating. Julie Burchill is an idiot. Quite why a paper which is, by and large, aimed at intelligent, liberal minded progressives, chooses to print the journalistic equivalent of an explosive wet fart after a dodgy vindaloo from the mind (or lack thereof) of an idiotic Iraq war apologist who once declared Israel the only country she would “fucking die for”, is beyond me. So what brainless, sputum-laced drivel did she have to offer us today? Three short pieces, each wetter and fartier than the last. Thusly summarised, they go like this:

1) People who oppose the war in Afghanistan are Taliban appeasers and there’s absolutely no chance they could have any genuine moral or political objections to the war, like the deaths of Afghan civilians, or a principled opposition to imperialism. People who criticise the war without ever having fought in it are cowards, don’t deserve to have an opinion and should just shut up. Anti-war activists would be cheering Chamberlain if he were around today because it’s absolutely impossible that two completely different wars could be fought for two completely different reasons and that one might be slightly more defensible than the other. It’s much better to be an armchair warmonger than an armchair peacenik.

2) Julie belittles the plight of millions of Pakistanis whose lives have been ruined by the floods. She then admits she doesn’t know much about Islam (does she know much about anything?) before bringing up the fact that a Saudi billionaire was profligate enough so spend millions on a number plate as evidence that Muslims are probably hypocrites if they’re not sending aid to Pakistan. I’d suggest that Ms. Burchill is rather tenuously conflating two separate issues – one of extreme importance, the other of large irrelevance – because she’s running out of things to write about. This, I think, is evidenced by wet fart number three.

3) Naomi Campbell is pretty, but miserable. Kate Moss is pretty, clever and full of the joys of life. Well, Julie, if either of them had had their brain extracted and replaced by a monkey’s anus, they could have come up with a more interesting piece than this. You cretin.

A few highly representative (quite honestly) comments on Burchill’s article from the Independent’s website:

Tony: The Indy’s bosses could save themselves a few bob by just getting a random cabbie to rant incoherently about the problems of the day, and transcribing the results thereof. At least that might be entertaining.

Giordano Bruno: Islamophobia infiltrating the Independent! Funny how one can feel Burchill’s contempt if not hatred towards Islamic “umma”. Usual suspects like JB always come back with same rusty and dusty arguments. I’ve just wasted 5 minutes of my precious time.

Christopher: Being a columnist is just a little more than your IQ can manage. I suggest you switch to covering horse shows, which I expect you could do well.

Meles: Wow! Three items, all poorly-judged, offensive and ill-informed. I have learned to treat JB’s writing with… well, let’s call it scepticism… but this has to be an all time low.

Ian1: I was doing a spot of gardening this morning when I accidentally put my hand in a turd left in one of my borders by a neighbour’s cat. Unpleasant as that experience was, it pales into insignificance alongside the trauma associated with reading yet another ill-considered, poorly-constructed column by the worthless sack of crap that is Julie Burchill.

R. Broxted: Julie, couldn’t Lebedev afford Rod Liddle?

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Reader Comments

Sputum-laced indeed. Cheers, Salman, this made me LOL.

Written By Jon on August 11th, 2010 @ 8:28 pm

It’s quite sad, I always thought the Indy would be above this.

Do you think it would be possible to start a movement getting peeo to write to theIndepndentwith an aim f removing that mad old bat from her keyboard lol?

Written By adam989 on October 27th, 2010 @ 6:20 pm

Apologies for the typos, my new wireless keyboard is not playing ball.

Written By adam989 on October 27th, 2010 @ 6:22 pm

What risible drivel is this posturing as… god knows, an ‘article’? Your ‘journalism’ Salman mate, is right up there with such great master commentators as Glenda Slagg. Well done, looks like all those hard years toiling in Jesus College Cambridge studying (would you believe) social and political science have really paid off.

Just a couple of journalistic pointers for you – when you say ‘…people have known this for years’ does that mean your views are now representing ‘the people’ (bit like the ‘silent majority’ all those know-I’m-right wingers always purport to represent?) And since when has the criticism of a Dubai billionaire (Dubai not Saudi – fact check mate) and the money sloshing around in the Middle East been a criticism of all Muslims? Aren’t you ‘conflating’ the two there in your witless little rant? The idea that some of the billions in the Middle East couldn’t be redirected to Pakistan as being ‘…of large irrelevance’ is a laugh riot and the idea that you can’t criticise oil rich hell holes like Dubai or Saudi Arabia (financed mostly by the Americans) for fear of being labelled Islamophobic is a gift for all those wanting to curb the pesky excesses of free speech or rather saying it like it is. Wet fart indeed.

Isn’t it amazing that in a country where you could throw a stick at any authentic twisted right-wing hack (Melanie Philips, Michael Portillo take your pick) you choose to aim your bile at Julie Burchill, a near as you can get communist working class woman made good who supports working class women (of all nationalities). Divide and rule, that’s how the right have managed to keep a grip on power in this patriarchal land and my god don’t tossers like you go ahead and lend a hand. What doesn’t Julie Burchill support? Oh yes, some of the worst dictatorships in the world justifying their women hating monstrosity under the fig leaf of Islam (not that Islam is woman hating and monstrous but is simply used that way).

And of course she supports the state of Israel (with too much zeal) but then for every action (the amount of criticism the media levies at Israel) there must be an equal and opposite reaction. None of this hot air, of course, ever does the poor Palestinians any bloody good from a country that gave away their land in the first place (as they did with India and Pakistan, great line drawers and partitioners the Oxbridge English with other people’s land). But then of course you being one of those Oxbridge men, you’d know this.

Many of the cretins who post their loose stool prejudice under her columns for The Independent do little better than reveal themselves as the stuck up misogynistic bourgeois shit throwers they sadly are. And then, hahaha the irony, this website (run by a bunch of postgraduate bobbing male egos almost to a man, with a token woman slung in at the end) purports to support the working class struggle, while actually doing little more than trying to find a career for its scribblers, with like minded patronisers who work in Britain’s almost wholly right-wing spewing meeja. Wetter and fartier? Takes one to know one. Good luck mate, expect to see you working for Press TV anytime soon.

Written By mseal on October 28th, 2010 @ 11:16 pm

wow, mseal, had a raw nerve hit there? gender and political leanings aside, she is an odious bitch. much like you, mate. go fuck yourself. stop picking on people because of their education and social status.

Written By avm on October 29th, 2010 @ 7:36 pm

Absolutely mate, cos of course gender and political leanings meaning nothing on a website like this. Called Third Estate. Just ranting and swearing and making yourself feel like proper blokey and clever. Raw nerves work both ways genius. As for picking on people (oh boo hoo) cos of their education and social status, isn’t that what this website is all about?

Written By mseal on October 30th, 2010 @ 5:23 pm

no, it’s about tackling points of view and challenging arguments. yours is obnoxiously put and, more importantly, weak.
firstly, you claim that salman is speaking for the silent majority, but then go on to refer to the people who take the time to comment on her articles. not so silent then, it would seem.
secondly, she critices the lack of ‘one-ness’ in the islam community by pointing out that some muslims become suicide bombers and others don’t give all their money to charitable causes. not only is this pretty insulting to the islamic faith, but is also pretty idiotic given that there is another, more likely causative link here; namely, being human. why not pick on the spending habits of the americans? or the japanese? oh yeah, because she’s just a tad biased.
thirdly, this ‘hot air’ doesn’t purport to help the palestinians in any way (except maybe as a morale booster), so your ad hominem remarks are pointless.
finally, the quality of this blog is dependent not on what lies between its writers’ legs, but their informed views and heart-felt beliefs. your response, sir, was knee-jerk and il-formed, and has served to show you up as an embittered shit-slinger.
oh, and scattering your remarks with ‘mate’ only makes you sound more of an idiotic prick. plus i love how you assume i’m a bloke.

Written By avm on October 31st, 2010 @ 8:51 am

I assume you’re a bloke because your writing and reasoning are so incoherent and flatulent you could hardly be anything else after five pints of Stella (not being the writer of this drivel you must be a relative). If you’re that sensitive to being mistaken for a beer bellied bloke – ‘…much like you mate, go fuck yourself???’ – why not just put up your name instead of hiding behind initials? Hardly likely because you, like many of the up themselves Indy outraged, waste time reading someone they hate, week after week, and then true to the craven bourgeois snobs you all are scribble cretinous abuse and think it’s up there with Oscar Wilde while hiding behind such sad-arse mullet brained names as as Rocker74 and WithRespect. Burchill’s views are extreme, but often extremely accurate. She knows where power lies and defends those who don’t have it and doesn’t hide behind initials, write sweary abuse, then complain cos her gender isn’t recognised. As far as the defence of the powerless is concerned you and your ilk wouldn’t know your elbow from your anus – education and social status is power you dolt (and honest to god are you seriously trying to say that criticism of those god awful multi-billion dollar emirate hell-holes is criticism of ‘the Muslim faith’ in general? Don’t think the Turks or Bosnians (to name but two) would thank you for that. And Burchill don’t like ‘em cos she’s a tad biased. Give me strength, biased against what? Hand chopping, whipping, stoning, beheading? Then you’ve got the brass neck gall to witter on about weak arguments, you’re breathtaking). Still, empty vessels and all. I will sign off with that great writing inspiration behind you and the twerp who’s penned this half baked twaddle, to wit Glenda Slagg – Julie Burchill!!!!everyone knows she’s crap innit!!!!! Wotta wet fart splat!!??!! dontchya hate ‘er!!! byeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Written By mseal on November 1st, 2010 @ 9:18 am

my gosh, you must have a lot of time to spend coming up with fantastical assumptions about people you’ve never met and then venting your misplaced anger at these straw men. you, like burchill, seem to base your arguments on poorly though-out generalisations. yes, my first comment was snidey, but i was having a bad day. you seem to be constantly having one.

Written By avm on November 1st, 2010 @ 2:03 pm

Pot. Kettle. Black. Go and learn where to use a capital letter Mr/Miss/Ms/who gives a crap last wordist (love the way you compliment yourself with the word ‘snidey’, brain-dead would be nearer the mark). It only matters what’s between the legs when there’s nothing between the ears. ‘..their informed views and heart-felt beliefs’, you got violin accompaniment for that, you muppet.

Written By mseal on November 1st, 2010 @ 2:37 pm


Written By avm on November 2nd, 2010 @ 7:05 pm

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