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Today white people were left struggling to cope with the consequences of a racially charged outburst from politician Diane Abbott. The Labour MP took to twitter, earlier today, to allege that “white people like to divide and rule”.
Already, there are reports that police officers have been pouring into “white” areas, where they have been stopping, searching and harrassing white youth, on suspicion that they are “conspiring to divide and rule”. Officers are said to be arresting any white males who are caught in possession of Machiavelli’s The Prince.
There are also fears that Abbott’s comments will create yet more hurdles for young people who are already struggling to find work. “Now I dread going to job interviews” said Emily, a young white woman from reading. “I know that whatever abilities I demonstrate, the interviewer will always be wondering whether, if they give me the job, I will end up dividing the accounts department simply so that I can rule over it.”
Police, meanwhile, have defended their decision to shoot an unarmed white man in South East London. “My officers reacted quickly and they reacted well”, the borough commanded said. “They knew that in a matter of seconds, this young man would set them against each other, in order that he could manouver himself into a position of stewardship over them”. “It’s unfortunate, but immediate action was their only option”, he added.
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