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It would seem that many a think-tank has been wasting its time, now that St Jamie of Oliver has discovered a new, and speedy, method for measuring poverty. He finds it hard, he says, to “talk about modern day poverty”, before reminding us of a family on one of his shows “with the mum and the kid eating chips and cheese out of Styrofoam containers, and behind them is a massive TV”. “It just didn’t weigh up”, he said.
Well actually, Jamie, it does. If he bothered to do a few sums, the gourmet chef would quickly discover that he is excreting orally, and the two things are barely related. These days you can pick up a 40 inch TV from Tescos for £340. That sounds like a lot except, unlike food, which you eat every day, the average TV is replaced just once every six years. Over that time period, a household of four will eat 17520 individual breakfasts and and dinners. Taking away free school meals, the household will also consume 6360 lunches. This makes a grand total of 23,880 meals. If this household had not bought it’s widescreen TV, it would indeed be able to spend more money on food – to be precise, they could spend an extra 1.4 pence per person per meal, an amount more commonly known as “fuck all”.
Stick to what you’re good at Jamie.
Also check out “Has there ever been a bigger prick than Jamie Fucking Oliver?” by Johnny Void.
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